I don’t wish for people to be unhappy, but sometimes when I hear that crappy people become unhappy, or they’ve failed at something, it gives my soul a medium-sized boner.
thisfan asked: Is your dash, like mine, full of posts about Brave and the relationship between Merida and her mom Elinor? And is it as weird for you as it is for me to see so much of the rare proper spelling of our name?!
I reviewed People Like Us in this week's Portland... →
IT'S LIKE SCOTUS KNEW IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY
YES I’M MAKING THIS HISTORIC DECISION ABOUT MYSELF. SUCK IT, NERDS! THIS IS A FANTASTIC DAY.
I am actually thanking Chief Justice Roberts.
I'd tend to agree with you
glossylalia: elinorjo reblogged your photo: maritsa-met: clearwithsparkles: Are you… I love you MO, but white chocolate sucks. HOWEVER, I have found that when employed with other types of real chocolate, white chocolate is a non-issue. I have very much enjoyed double chocolate chip cookies. In fact, chocolate chip, white chocolate, and macadamia nut cookies are delicious (if you don’t have an...
I'm going to start a kickstarter for foot...
It’s gonna take a village.
I've seriously got the grossest fucking feet.
It’s more my toes and toenails than my feet. I’m not going to post pictures. You’ll have to take my word for it. When did this happen? They used to be normal.
vanboobsenstein replied to your post: Oof, Jezebel. OOF. that joke ruins the whole article, doesn’t it? but I don’t think it reads like Tracie’s writing, personally. Yeah, I just assumed. The baby/husband/living-life-to-the-fullest!/watching FNL has kind of been her bag lately. But it could have been anyone. Regardless: gross.
Oof, Jezebel. OOF.
Tracie ANONYMOUS picked the day the comments are stopped to make a gross Special Olympics joke at jezebel. Way to go, ladyblog.
And then Thursday is my birthday.
I’m gonna take the day off work. In the morning I’m going to a day spa, and in the afternoon I’m going to the zoo with my fellow, and then we’ll go to dinner. This should cover everything I enjoy. Not working Getting rubbed down Cute animals My fellow Eating I couldn’t have planned it better myself, because I did plan it, and it’s the best plan there...
No matter how early in the morning, we will always...
tomyhusband: As far as I’m concerned, that should be in the wedding vows. Sorry, husband, if your work is gonna reimburse cab fare, you’re on your goddamn own at 5am.
Safety Not Guaranteed is a Great Movie.
How is my dash not peppered with the adorability that is This Movie yet? All of you: go watch it, and then come back here. Bring gifs. ETA: Okay, I have more to say about this. My budding movie writing brain has more to say. The thing that I love about this movie is that it had so many pieces in place to be cynical, and it seemed to move that way, but it came back around to be sweet, and...
Anonymous asked: what does elinorjo mean? also do you make $ with your blog using peepspayerDOTcom?
Horrible seasonal allergies AND horrible cramps. The outside and the inside are trying to kill me at the same time.
Some Abercrombie/clurb types of dude-bros I went to high school with just shared a photo. They’re all in LA, on their way to see Leno. Makes sense.
Today is Prince William’s 30th birthday. He is exactly one week older than I am. So that means…fuck.
Even if you make $11 an hour and work full time...
ipsadixit: Reason #9284932470932 America is all kinds of fucked up I’m gonna clarify because that’s how I do. Poverty level for a family of four is $23,050. For one person it’s $11,170. Info here (pdf). If you make minimum wage ($7.25) and work 2080 hours per year (about average), income before taxes is $15,080. Not disputing that this is a crazy small amount of money. But...
Yesterday I was mocking pinterest in front of my husband, and he had no idea what it was. So I tried to explain it to him. If you think pinterest already sounds insane, imagine how it sounds to a person who isn’t even aware of the mason jar takeover of all contemporary decorating.
Holy shit, you guys
The next season of The Real World is going to be filmed in Portland. They will not be popular. This is going to be excellent.
The puppies are playing with human feet! →
It’s too bad husband has to go to work on this beautiful Sunday morning, but hey - pooping with the door open!
lucillebruise said: Jesus, dude. Way to bag a...
I know!! He’s very dreamy. I constantly want to eat his face.
Another very sad story
After my dad passed away a couple of years ago, some friends bought me and my brother tickets to see fucking Rob Schneider perform. It was a joke present, but real tickets, and after some time, I accepted that I was going to see Rob Schneider live, and began to look forward to the ridiculousness of it. And then like two days before the show, motherfucker canceled. And then I was disappointed....
Would anybody like to read the saddest story ever...
A friend of mine had elderly neighbors growing up. Every day the couple would ride their tandem bike together around the neighborhood. And then the wife died, but the husband would still ride their bike around. Let’s repeat for clarity: Elderly widower rode a bicycle built for two…alone.
"Vagina" is the New "Voldemort" →
sexfromscratch: The Michigan House Republicans ban a legislator from speaking on the floor after uttering the offensive word “vagina” during a debate over abortion. IT MUST NEVER BE NAMED! This is the best idea. I’ll now and forever call my vagina SHE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED.
I went to my first class last night. It was fun! It was more pilates-y than I expected - there wasn’t a ton of bar stuff except using it to not fall over - but it was good exercise and not boring. I was worried that everybody in the class would be crazy fitness people, but there was a mix. A lot of the women looked like current or former dancers, but there were some normals, too. Nothing...
Me on tumblr, every day, many times per day
Reads opinion Reads outraged opinion to opinion Decide that one or both opinions are stupid Decide that, more importantly, CARING about that thing, or that another person cares about that thing, is stupid. BECAUSE OMG WHO FUCKING CARES Getting mad at other people for their wrong opinions, or that they felt it necessary to share/rant against said opinion in the first place Write post with my...
Did I ever tell you guys why I hate The Eagles?...
When I was doing my American-college-student-with-a-backpack-in-Europe thing, some guy at a hostel recommended we check out this tiny Italian town that wasn’t even in the guidebooks. So we did. Or tried to, anyways. Turns out the fucking EAGLES had heard of this little place, and were playing a free show there that very same night. Everything, for miles in any direction, was booked. We had...