March 2011
88 posts
I went out to karaoke Saturday night and sang “Wannabe.” I’d forgotten about the part in that song where they rap. It was….not unembarrassing.
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MFP: Anne Hathaway
Marry: Anne Hathaway
Fuck: Anne Hathaway
Punch: Anne Hathaway towards the end of the Oscars last night
Even for this drooling superfan, that was too much.
February 2011
60 posts
Why am I watching this?
I hate live television.
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How to dress for life
1. Don’t smell too bad
2. Be appropriate
3. Don’t be an asshole
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How to deal with a thing that's lame
1. Suck it up
2. Deal with it
3. Don’t be an asshole
4. Move on
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I'm actually considering
Getting a tattoo of my dude’s name in a heart. I want to follow in the footsteps of Eva Longoria and Charlie Sheen. Too bad their marriages were not so good. Better if it’s just his initials? Or maybe it could say SPARKLES, which is what I call him. Sparkles would be funny. Or Sparky. Or RAD, our pretend last name.
Or nothing at all. I might be getting too old to get new tattoos,...
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BREAKING NEWS / IMPORTANT BULLETIN
THE CHEESE BAGEL FROM WHOLE FOODS IS JUST A REGULAR BAGEL WITH A SLICE OF CHEESE MELTED OVER THE TOP OF IT.
JUST A SLICE. IT’S NOT EVEN GRATED OR ANYTHING.
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I don't care what the fashion blogs say
I’m not going to wear shorts over tights. I WON’T.
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Feeling a wee bit crampy
I must be ovulating.
I’ll be holding a funeral later today for the loss of this unfertilized egg - I mean - potential human life.I can’t believe this is my 192nd such funeral. I’m totes a murderer, I guess.
“So they wanna cut everything from family care to prenatal care to child...”
– JON STEWART, on the GOP’s wholesale attack on women, women’s health programs, reproductive rights and, again, women, on The Daily Show (via inothernews)
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A client gave me a thick purple sweater for Christmas. It was nice, but too Adult Lady for me. Yesterday I exchanged it for 2 short black dresses. I’LL NEVER AGE.
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ICE CREAM FOR DINNER
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Things that are good today.
What a week! Time to give props to some special things that make me still feel okay about my life and the world.
1. I’m in a blue, blue city in a mostly blue state. I know one can’t ignore the greater populace, but it does feel nice to live in a place that loves public radio and a woman’s right to choose.
2. My facebook wall. Like-minded folks make me feel hopeful.
3. My...
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The Contender
Everybody has seen this movie, right? I just fucking love it. I like to watch that, and The West Wing, when politics get me down.
The Planned Parenthood stuff today reminds me of that scene in the movie when the dickhead congressman grills Joan Allen about abortion and is all slimy and hypocritical about everything. But Joan Allen doesn’t throw it all in his face. Because she is a badass.
...
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Hey Barry!
The president is in a Portland suburb today to talk to some nerds at Intel. This has everybody scared shitless of traffic. Yesterday a client tried to use the presidential visit as a reason to get to our office 30 minutes late for an appointment. He wasn’t even in the goddamn state yesterday!
Anyhoo, welcome to Oregon, big guy! We are big fans! Sorry we all drive like yahoos!
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Last night I had a dream that I got Tina Fey a...
We had brunch cocktail plans, then she was running late and I got cocktails with other friends. I got a little tipsy. Then Tina showed up and was like “where’s my bloody mary?” so I got more, and then I got pretty drunk and felt awesome about stuff.
Then I heard my alarm clock go off, and thought it was Saturday, then realized it was only Thursday and it was such a bummer.
This week is fucking dragging
morninggloria:
This panda is how I feel at all times.
shouldbestudyingmedschool:
bluebears:
Agreed. But I need it to. I am in no way ready for my exam on Friday.
Today I am both the panda, and the cans she kicks.
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I'm hosting grrlz night this week
One friend is temporarily not eating carbs. Another is temporarily vegan.
I live off grilled-cheese sandos. How am I supposed to feed these people???
WTF SNOW?!
GROSS. STOP IT.
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The State Department has issued a travel...
…to my underwear. The area has been highly volatile for the last 48 hours, and peace is not expected for at least another three days. The area warmly accepts foreigners 75% of the year, but periodically erupts into instability. Visitors are urged to stay away, but if they must make a visit, be prepared for heavy bloodshed.
Watching Watson on Jeopardy.
thepoppy:
Ken looks pissed.
I hate Watson. He’s too smart! Robots shouldn’t be able to do that.
@khart79 - YES! Co-shamelessness.
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What's wrong with me?
You guys, I think I really like “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry.
Is that just all sorts of fucked up?
It’s so goddamn catchy!
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Happy birthday Maggie!
Valentine’s day as a holiday is not for me. I am not a fan of obligatory love/affection/gifts. But today is a very special in Joneserville.
I adopted Maggie in the summer of 2003. She had been a stray cat. The Humane Society guessed she was a year old. Then I took her to the vet, who guessed her age was closer to 5 months.
I decided to make her birthday somewhere in the middle: February...
"Hello, I am fat", in which Lindy West calls Dan... →
BADASS.
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There is still some leftover pizza in my fridge
And for some stupid reason, I did not bring it with me to work.
What is wrong with me?
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Dinner
Homemade pizza topped with carmelized onions, gorgonzola, and pears.
Salad greens in balsamic vinegarette.
Plus two porkchops for meat-eating husband.
Salty cheesy goodness! Deliciousness times a million!
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Glee
It has always been cheese-sauce, this we know.
But in the beginning, the balance was: 40% funny/awful, 20% awful/awful, 40% legit fun.
Earlier this year, it’s been more like: 30% funny/awful, 55% awful/awful, 15% legit fun.
Last night? 95% awful/awful, 5% funny/awful.
Is it time to throw in the towel? I don’t want to, but I might have to. Sitting on the couch with my hands over my...
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The A Minus
I am an A - kind of gal. It is a life strategy that works for me. Things should be good, but it’s okay if they’re not perfect. I try pretty hard (sometimes even my hardest), but am content to see mistakes in things I do.
90 - 92% accuracy is just fine.
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OMG BABY ANTELOPES →
Those fuckers are cute.
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Animate your own stupid fucking dreams, tiny...
I hate the new jezebel layout.
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A Chinese Takeout Story
My husband and I have been having the laziest of Sundays. In a rare decision, we order chinese takeout. Like, a LOT of chinese takeout. An embarassing amount.
We drove over to the place to pick it up. “I’ll wait in the car,” I said. “If we go in together, it will be clear that we are a couple and all of this food is just for us. If you go in on your own, they’ll...
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There a Mexican restaurant up the street from my house that I drive by a lot. It has a reader board out front that says “LUNCH M F 550.”
Probably they just don’t have any dashes, and they mean “Monday through Friday.”
But when I drive by, I always think they’re saying “LUNCH, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!”
