May 2012
57 posts
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Yay! Noooooooooo
Yay! It’s a holiday AND my husband’s birthday! Get to sleep in and have some delicious greasy breakfast! Then head to the airport for Las Vegas!
But noooooooo, body decided it’s period time. Woke up at 6:30 with brutal cramps, feeling like I’m gonna vom. No sweet birthday lovin’ for my fella, and it’s gonna be a miserable day for travel.
I’ll just take...
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Today I have an impossible stack of things to accomplish at work, I have a writing deadline with a buddy, and I have to go to the goddamn DMV
But then -
The weekend!
A night out with my gentleman, massages, soaking, then karaoke, and then Las Vegas! A 6-day weekend that, if everything goes as planned, should end with me extremely well-fed, relaxed, tan, and rich.
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I reviewed First Position for the Portland Mercury →
I really liked it!
Then a friend put it in perspective in the comments:
NO MATTER HOW HARD THESE KIDS TRAIN, THERE’S A NORTH KOREAN KID TRAINING HARDER.
Anonymous asked: i made $150 today on tumblrtasks(.)com check it out but dont tell anyone about it
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Better Off Ted
Better Off Ted is on netflix instant.
You know what’s a funny show, especially now that most shows are on summer hiatus and pickings are limited, but is also funny on its own merits?
Better Off Ted.
monasequeda:
thatlolblog:
This is a post of birds who look like they’re yelling.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
AAAAAAAH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
AAAAAAAAAAAAH
Thank you that is all.
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Remember before you had cell phones and you shared one house line and then...
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My Thursday TV thing for the Portland Mercury. →
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Gah
Last night was the last of the Thursday shows this season, and like the expert writer that I am, I forgot to email myself the post I wrote. I try to finish the writing at night and in the morning so as to not interfere with my day job. The day job I’m now ditching out on to go home to send a goddamn email.
Oh come on
Wheel of Fortune is in Portland, so I’m watching it. This chick from U of O (my alma mater) had “IT’S LIKE A DREAM - - - - TRUE” and guessed - I’m not even fucking kidding - “IT’S LIKE A DREAM GAME TRUE!”
Huh?
Well, I never claimed I went to the best college.
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I reviewed What to Expect When You're Expecting... →
I’ve give you less than 1 second to guess if I liked it or not.
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The Next Big Smutty Fan-Fic
I’m gonna write a book called 69 Shades of Lavender. It’s about Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil going full lez. Trelawney might be involved.
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Do you guys think it’s grosser to let a horribly red, crusty pimple just chill untouched, or should I cover it up with concealer, causing it to look like a crusty beige scab that is also probably still a pretty red?
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Aging
I find it total bullshit that I am almost 30 and my skin is just NOW deciding that it wants to be an asshole.
For the past few months, I’ve been getting pimples on my lower cheeks, just to the sides of the edges of my lips, or below that. Not on my chin, not on my cheeks. Just there. I thought it might be from holding my phone against my face - it’s right where the phone touches - but...
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Missed Connection: Rupaul
My brother has an LA job which causes him to talk to or be near famous people sometimes. Yesterday he emails me and is all “I think I just rode in an elevator with [completely obscure character from long-since-canceled show]!!!!” But I never see famous people, so I was all: “neat!”
And then TODAY his girlfriend announces that freaking RUPAUL had been subletting the loft...
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Election Day
Today is primary day in Oregon. I’m voting right now (at my desk - we vote by mail here, holla! Except it’s too late to mail the ballot so I have to walk it to a drop box.) One of the local ballot measures asks: “Shall outdated and unenforceable Portland City Charter power regarding vagrants and paupers be deleted?” I’m tempted to vote no. I think that we, as a city,...
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That feeling when you’re either having some weird ovulation pain, or are about to have diarrhea.
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I am always elated when we get stretches of sunny and warm spring days in Portland, and then my allergies kick in and are all “YOU’LL NEVER ENJOY THIS. YOU’LL NEVER BE HAPPY! BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA” and I’m ready for fall again.
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MOM ARE YOU READING THIS?
I hope so. Happy mother’s day! Gracias for birthing me and giving me smart and pretty genes. Love you!
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Official Leslie Knope feelings.
They are here.
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The Parks and Rec Tag
Two things:
1. A LOT of fans write “city counsel” instead of - you know, the right way.
2. Sweet Overly-Dramatic Christ, crybabies. We get it. You love the show. But so many of these posts are like a goddamn contest to see who can drown themselves by fangirl tears first. “OMG CRYINNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG” is not telling me anything worthwhile except you don’t have better...
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If I were to invent a fictitious government structure, and a bunch of new bureaus, I would name myself either Secretary of Unsolicited Financial Advice, or Supreme Minister of Deciding Which Actors Are and Are Not Cool.
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Oh, Portland.
I was watching The New Girl last night, and ads for the local 10 o’clock news came on, as ads for local news do.
Guess what the LARGE FONT, big graphic, dramatic music, TOP STORY advertised was?
Ducks crossing the street in downtown Portland.
Ducks.
Crossing.
The Street.
This is the biggest city in the state, and 2nd-largest metropolitan area in this whole freakin’ quadrant...
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PSA
We all know that Mitt Romney is a horrible dog owner, right? Right.
His campaign might still try to claim he’s a dog lover, but check this out:
The president has a WHOLE DOG SECTION in his swag shop.
Romney’s store? It doesn’t have shit.
I KNOW WHO’S GOT MY DOG’S VOTE.
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Mental Health Decisions
I’ve been off prozac for a few months now, and I’m thinking about getting back on it. Most things are easier on prozac. But you know what’s not? Poopin’ and sexin’. And I like those things, so.
Sex From Scratch: PRINCE CHARMING IS A SCAM:... →
The San Francisco Ferry Building is so swirling with people that Tracy Clark-Flory and I can’t even find a place to sit. We eventually perch on a bench outside Pete’s Coffee, a throng of commuters, tourists, and screaming babies surrounding our small, intimate conversation. Clark-Flory is…
PEOPLE: FOLLOW THIS BLOG. SARAH MIRK IS A CRAZY SMART PORTLAND LADY WHO IS WRITING A BOOK ABOUT...
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Recappin'. →
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MY BROTHER IS PRETTY DUMB ABOUT MOVIES SOMETIMES
Wesley: i read ur blog and you are wrong about jersey girl
Wesley: that movie was pretty good
me: ew no it wasn't
that movie sucked
Wesley: false
me: (i'm not talking to you because you said that)
Wesley: jersey girl = rules
me: why are you saying that?
Wesley: cuz it is
me: it is...stupid?
me: i'm egging you on to say more unforgivable things about jersey girl and then i'm gonna put this convo on my blog
Wesley: i dont want to judge you for being wrong about jersey girl
so i am trying to take the high road
it has everything good the first bennifer, george carlin (i think)
me: j lo movies suck
this is a rule - all matt damon movies are good, and all j lo movies are bad
Wesley: this is a rule: eat shit
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My Opinion on Matt Damon, Which is Basically the...
Matt Damon has as close to a perfect record of awesome films as is possible.
His worst missteps were Stuck On You and a small involvement in Jersey Girl, both of which are at least kind of understandable.